What to Say to Pregnant Ladies

When I first got pregnant I read on blogs and forums just how insensitive some people can be towards pregnant ladies. I read dozens upon dozens of tactless comments, but I still doubted that people could be that tactless. I doubted until when around 7 months pregnant some of those tactless comments were directed at me.

I don't know what it is that gives people the idea that they have the right or place to comment on someone's body just because they are pregnant.

Would a tactful person comment on someone's weight gain?

Would a tactful person comment on someone's body shape?

No! But all bets are off if the person is pregnant. For some reason, common sense flies out the window and people seem to think that a pregnant lady's body is free game for commenting. And some say the most horrible things.

I do not understand this insanity, but as a victim of this craziness I hope that I will think twice before I talk to a pregnant lady and will remember what it feels like, even 40 years from now.

Eric and I have been astounded by the comments. Ranging anywhere from "You look miserable!" to "Wow, how many babies are you carrying?" to anywhere in-between and beyond.

Can someone please tell me how such comments are okay? Especially when they come from women who have been pregnant! Um, do they not remember at all?

However, there have been some very nice comments that help me forget about the awful ones. If you must comment, please choose something like these:

"You look great!" --Flattery is the best medicine for someone who feels anything but great.

"You look so good. You're that far along? You don't look that big." --I'm a big fan of white lies.

And my very favorite comment, that I think about whenever I get a rude comment:

"You're just adorable. I know you don't feel that way--believe me, I've done it five times. But you're just adorable and glowing." -- Love it, just the perfect amount of empathy, and made me feel adorable and glowing for the rest of the day. I want to hug her even now for her comment 2 weeks ago.

So, ladies especially, please think before you comment--you will either make or break a pregnant lady's day.

37 Week Update: Full Term

Well, it's official I'm full term. Not that that means baby girl will decide to come anytime soon, but it does give one cause to hope.

And the fact that some of symptoms I'm facing are signs of impending labor, brings hope with its misery.

Swelling: The swelling has reached an all time high and I finally caved and bought some compression socks. Most expensive pair of knee highs I've ever bought too! But oh the relief... don't know why I waited so long. The swelling makes moving around even more difficult. Kneeling is practically impossible. Which is why my sewing projects are on hold... I simply cannot kneel on the floor to cut or pin fabric. Good thing all important baby sewing projects are finished.

For some reason swelling, makes my skin feel bruised. My feet and ankles feel bruised to the touch, which makes putting on the compression socks and walking not so much fun.

Oh, and I now wear my wedding ring on my pinky finger... oh the sadness.

Carpal tunnel: So, remember when I said that my right hand was going numb? Well, its actually carpal tunnel. Who knew carpal tunnel made your hand/arm go numb and is a common symptom of pregnancy? 'Cuz I sure didn't.

Apparently when you swell up like a balloon as I have, the extra fluid puts pressure on the median nerve, resulting in carpal tunnel.

For a few weeks, it was just an annoying numbness in the evenings and mornings, but last Friday I woke up and the numbness just didn't go away. So halfway to Boise, we stopped at Walmart to buy a wrist brace so I could have some relief. Now, if I take off the brace for more than 20 minutes at a time, my hand and arm starts to go numb. Though the brace does seem to help the problem, it makes my hand/arm drastically less mobile... which makes eating, writing, typing and really anything cumbersome. Oh and so much for all those crocheting projects I started...

Difficulty moving: Each day, moving, bending, reaching, etc gets that much harder. Even wrapping presents was difficult with all that kneeling, cutting, moving around... ugh. I feel like an overweight 80+ year-old. And watching said overweight 80+ year olds move around at church, I realize that I move like them too. Which really makes me not want to grow old or become overweight...

Bad skin: Some pregnant ladies get prettier skin, mine just gets uglier. You can tell where I'm swollen because the skin is red and purplish in some areas, gross I know. And my pores are gigantic and red looking. Ick.

As you can see, pretty much all of my symptoms stem from being swollen. Why do some ladies swell like balloons and others not at all? I don't have an answer to that, but maybe it is repayment for not having morning sickness. Maybe this is just the "grass is greener on the other side" coming out in me, but I think at this point I'd rather take the morning sickness... and all ladies who do suffer from morning sickness are shaking their heads, "no" I'm sure.

Bruised groin: Supposedly this is a sign of my body getting ready for labor, and the extra pressure of the baby. But man it sure feels like I killed it at the gym doing kettle balls and sprinting... If only that were the reason I am sore.

Stabbing pains: Sharp, stabbing pains in the groin. At first I thought these might be Braxton Hicks, but no, its just pressure from the baby... again another sign of impending labor, but they sure do stop me in my tracks sometimes.

All these symptoms are in place, I'm sure, to make moms-to-be that much more excited, if that's possible, to meet their new little baby.

I can't think of anything better than to have my baby in my arms and NOT in my stomach :)

That will be very soon if I can take it one day at a time, because baby's due date (January 15) is 19 days away, and since the doctors won't let me go more than a week overdue, (Thank goodness) then I have approximately 19-26 days left! YAY!

We are pretty much ready for baby, just a few last things to get. I still don't have a diaper bag... or diapers... but that will be easily fixed. We have the crib, clothes, blankets, carseat, stroller, swing, bouncer, baby toiletries, breast pump, glider chair... so I think we'll be good if she decided to come :)

Oh and once I get the wall decor up, I'll post pictures of the finished nursery :)