I don't know what it is that gives people the idea that they have the right or place to comment on someone's body just because they are pregnant.
Would a tactful person comment on someone's weight gain?
Would a tactful person comment on someone's body shape?
No! But all bets are off if the person is pregnant. For some reason, common sense flies out the window and people seem to think that a pregnant lady's body is free game for commenting. And some say the most horrible things.
I do not understand this insanity, but as a victim of this craziness I hope that I will think twice before I talk to a pregnant lady and will remember what it feels like, even 40 years from now.
Eric and I have been astounded by the comments. Ranging anywhere from "You look miserable!" to "Wow, how many babies are you carrying?" to anywhere in-between and beyond.
Can someone please tell me how such comments are okay? Especially when they come from women who have been pregnant! Um, do they not remember at all?
However, there have been some very nice comments that help me forget about the awful ones. If you must comment, please choose something like these:
"You look great!" --Flattery is the best medicine for someone who feels anything but great.
"You look so good. You're that far along? You don't look that big." --I'm a big fan of white lies.
And my very favorite comment, that I think about whenever I get a rude comment:
"You're just adorable. I know you don't feel that way--believe me, I've done it five times. But you're just adorable and glowing." -- Love it, just the perfect amount of empathy, and made me feel adorable and glowing for the rest of the day. I want to hug her even now for her comment 2 weeks ago.
So, ladies especially, please think before you comment--you will either make or break a pregnant lady's day.
I do not understand this insanity, but as a victim of this craziness I hope that I will think twice before I talk to a pregnant lady and will remember what it feels like, even 40 years from now.
Eric and I have been astounded by the comments. Ranging anywhere from "You look miserable!" to "Wow, how many babies are you carrying?" to anywhere in-between and beyond.
Can someone please tell me how such comments are okay? Especially when they come from women who have been pregnant! Um, do they not remember at all?
However, there have been some very nice comments that help me forget about the awful ones. If you must comment, please choose something like these:
"You look great!" --Flattery is the best medicine for someone who feels anything but great.
"You look so good. You're that far along? You don't look that big." --I'm a big fan of white lies.
And my very favorite comment, that I think about whenever I get a rude comment:
"You're just adorable. I know you don't feel that way--believe me, I've done it five times. But you're just adorable and glowing." -- Love it, just the perfect amount of empathy, and made me feel adorable and glowing for the rest of the day. I want to hug her even now for her comment 2 weeks ago.
So, ladies especially, please think before you comment--you will either make or break a pregnant lady's day.
Insensitive comments are not okay. I just think that people get awkward and run out of time to think of something nice or flattering to say, so the first thing that comes out of their mouth is inappropriate. It happens...and when it happened to me I just smiled, nodded my head, went home to my husband and vented to him about it until my face was purple :)
ReplyDeleteGood theory. Sometimes I wish though that I was the kind of person who could retort back... not really, I'd feel horrible, but then at least they would understand. But, alas, like you, I just smile, laugh and pretend like they said nothing wrong...
ReplyDelete