My First Mommy Freak Out

Murphey's Law must state that when one's husband is unreachable everything that could go wrong will.

Monday was Eric's first day with the Bingham County (Blackfoot area) Sheriff's department. Yay! Eric has a job! We were so relieved for Eric to find a police job in the area. But for some odd reason, Eric started at 4 p.m. We all know that police officers work shifts and are not normal 8-5 jobs, but 4 p.m. on the first day? Yeah, we thought it was weird.

Because the Honda gets much better gas mileage, we had decided that Eric should drive the Honda to work in Blackfoot and I drive the Blazer. I drive Eric's car on occasion, but it's always an adjustment when I do. I can never seem to remember where are the buttons are, especially for the rarely used ones.

Eric got to work, and texted me around 5:00 to tell me that he was sitting around, not doing anything yet. Since we knew Eric wouldn't get home until 2 or 3 a.m. I decided that I would definitely hit the gym and maybe even Joann's to get some more fabric and make it a girls night with movies and sewing projects.

I spent longer at the gym than usual, and considered the night off to a good start. Just as I got to the gym, my phone died, so on the drive to Joann's I plugged my phone into the car cell phone charger. The little red light wasn't coming on, so I switched lighters and tried another one. Then all of a sudden smoke started billowing out of the center console of Eric's Blazer. Like copious amounts of smoke! Of course I freaked out, and not knowing what else to do, stop in middle of the intersection and turn off the car. That however did not reduce the smoke. After several very long seconds of trying to figure out what was wrong and choking until I thought I was going to die, I jump out of the car suddenly very fearful what all that smoke would do to baby girl--not to mention my lungs were on FIRE! (On a side note: I now understand why people pass out so quickly from smoke in a fire, and why the fire department always says to get out immediately. I always thought, "Sure, sure... but only after I grab some irreplaceable things first." Now I know better.)

After staring at all the smoke for another minute or two, I pull out the car charger and saw that the tip was bent and melted. At that moment someone finally stopped. A lady got out of her car and came to help me and more importantly help my flustered self figure out what to do. Her first idea was to pull over to the side of the road. Good idea :) I would have done this originally, but there was honestly just too much smoke to go another yard. So once the smoke had stopped forming, I pulled over and so did she. She graciously offered me her phone, because of course my phone was still dead and the way to charge it was now dead too.

Just then a police officer showed up and asked what was the matter. After we explained the situation, the nice lady took off--though before I could call anyone--and the police officer helped me determine that everything with the car should be okay. He explained that sometimes a car charger can short out and melt... so I guess it isn't that rare. But it sure freaked me out.

I got back in my car and debated whether or not I should continue on with my plans to go to Joanns. I got almost there when a pit formed in my stomach... would the smoke have hurt baby girl?

My thought process went like this:

I'm coughing and my lungs are still "on fire"and it's been about 15 minutes. Baby girl breathes because I do. So if I am jeopardized she must be too. In Grey's Anatomy they always say that if there's anything wrong with the baby you only have a few minutes to get it out. (Yes, my brain made that much of a leap, and yes I do watch too much Grey's Anatomy). Should I go to the ER? No, that's expensive and what if they laugh at me for coming in for something like this. Maybe I should call Heather or my mom. But my phone is dead, and so is my charger and by the time I get home and call them it could be too late if there is something wrong. I wish I had a smart phone, I'd just google it and see what other moms say. Oh, well maybe I could go to a Community Urgent Care, our insurance will cover most of that, I'll try there.

So I flip a U, and and head back to the Community Care.

I signed in, and wondered if I should tell them it's really urgent.

I waited the agonizing 5 minutes or so and go back with the nurses and tell them with tears forming in my eyes what's the matter and that I just need to know if baby girl is okay.

They say, "Oh well there's really no way we can tell you that here. If you're really worried you'd have to go to the ER, and they can do an ultrasound."

Ok, so I get back in the car, and curse the tears in my eyes to go away and drive across the street to the ER.

I have never in living memory beeb to the ER. So it was a scary/surreal feeling for me.

I signed in and waited for a long time for someone to take me back. (In hindsight if something really had been wrong, it would have probably been too late anyways by how slow the ER was).

They took my blood pressure, asked me questions and left me by myself on a creepy looking bed with the curtains open and sitting feet away from other patients. I sat there for about 30 minutes with nothing to preoccupy my mind but scary thoughts about baby girl and eavesdropping on the other patients as the doctor told them that yes their cough is being aggravated because they smoke...

About this time baby girl started kicking some. My first 2 thoughts:

1. Yay, she's probably okay
2. Oh no, if everything is fine, then I feel like an IDIOT for being at the ER

Eventually a PA comes by and tells me everything is probably fine because the baby takes her oxygen from my blood and I wasn't exposed long enough for her to have been deprived.

But he decides to go ask a doctor just in case. I waited another 15 minutes or so for the said doctor to come and tell me that everything is fine.

He explained it like this: a fetus is like a parasitic relationship. They will take and take and take to make sure they are getting everything they need, at the peril of the carrier (me). He said I could go without eating for 3 days and the baby would be fine because she would suck me dry, (again scary vampiric baby images) whereas I would be in a pretty bad shape. So he said he was more worried about me than the baby.

And since I looked and felt completely fine, I was discharged. I finally left the ER around 8:00, wondering what on earth that bill is going to look like.

So 2 hours later, and feeling very foolish, I drove home.

If you haven't heard me tell this story, it's because I felt silly, even though it had been very dramatic for me.

I got home, plugged in my phone, called Eric and told him to call me ASAP.

He called a little while later and I explained the whole thing through the tears that I had refused to completely overtake me earlier in the day. GAH hormones, and bad days!

So, despite my grand plans for sewing and working on projects, I watched project runway and looked at baby clothes online and almost bought some ridiculously priced dresses just to assuage my feelings.

That was my first mommy freak out. I'm sure life will be full of them, especially with the first baby. So I'm gonna chalk up my freak out to first time mommy fears.

Yay, for being a mommy?