But Sunday morning before church I saw a posting on a friend's Facebook wall saying that their little girl had died in an accident in Yellowstone. My mind raced back to the article we had read the previous night. Already thinking in my head that that little girl must have been the Tucker's little girl, I quickly located the article and reread it for details. It seemed like too much of a coincidence to be true--how many little girls die in Yellowstone? With a sick heart, Emmeline and I went to church (It was Drill weekend). Throughout church I could not stop thinking about it. When Eric got home from Drill, I showed him the Facebook post. By this time it had been confirmed by other friends on Facebook that the girl in the article and the Tucker's little girl were the same.
...
This little girl, Ella, and her parents were in our married student ward in Rexburg. Although I never got to know their parents too well--I think Nicole and I sat next to each other in Relief Society a time or two and chatted, but that was probably all. But while we were in that ward I was in the nursery for about 3 months. It was hard for me to miss Sunday School and Relief Society, but the one bright spot was the adorable children. One of them was Ella Tucker. And oh my goodness was she a gorgeous toddler. I had watched her in Sacrament meeting for weeks, as she played. She was so loved, it seemed every week she was in another couples arms during Sacrament meeting (that is what newly-married, baby-hungry couples do, borrow other couple's adorable children during Sacrament meeting.) And I craved to play with her, she was just so so adorable. One of the cutest little girls ever.
Well, soon I was called to nursery. Ella was my instant "favorite." (I know it's awful, but I definitely have favorites--I would be a horrible teacher.) I sought out Ella every week to play with her. She was just as adorable as she looked.
Unfortunately, the Tucker's moved away shortly thereafter, and I never got to know her or her family better. But I'm so glad I got to play with her for those few months.
Every time you hear of a child being hurt it is terribly sad, and if you're like me, you cry. But when it is someone you knew it really hits close to home. You realize that it could happen to anybody. You realize just how fragile life is. All week I've been thinking, "this time last week Ella was healthy and fine and no one knew she would be gone in just a couple of days." And I would just sob. I've been thinking about how broken I would be if it were Emmeline.
Eric doesn't know this, but when he's gone at work at night, I slip in and watch Emmeline sleep several times before I actually go to bed. But this week, I've been going in a lot more, and just looking at her. Even touching her, knowing that I might accidentally wake her, and not really caring.
Yesterday Emmeline had a rough evening due to teething and I rocked her while she drank a bottle. As I sat there in the silence I thought about Ella. How precious she is, how precious every daughter of God is. I thought about how without the Gospel, the pain would unbearable. I thought about how she is with her Heavenly Father now and will see her parents again someday, and how that lessons the pain somewhat, but how painful it still must be for the Tuckers. I can't even imagine.
Upon reflection--I am surprised by how much I learned and felt this past week--even those who aren't directly affected.
- We cling a little closer to Heavenly Father
- We count our blessings instead of dwelling on our misfortunes
- We lean on each other
- People have the opportunity to serve
- Our testimonies of the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement are strengthened (I read this talk from Conference that gave great comfort--http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/because-i-live-ye-shall-live-also?lang=eng)
- We pray a little longer
- We read our scriptures a little longer
- We hug and play with our children a little longer
I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned this past week, and I hope the days will go by quickly until the Tucker family can be reunited.
I'm so glad families can be together forever.
wow- ya that's a killer on the heart!
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