What to Say to Pregnant Ladies

When I first got pregnant I read on blogs and forums just how insensitive some people can be towards pregnant ladies. I read dozens upon dozens of tactless comments, but I still doubted that people could be that tactless. I doubted until when around 7 months pregnant some of those tactless comments were directed at me.

I don't know what it is that gives people the idea that they have the right or place to comment on someone's body just because they are pregnant.

Would a tactful person comment on someone's weight gain?

Would a tactful person comment on someone's body shape?

No! But all bets are off if the person is pregnant. For some reason, common sense flies out the window and people seem to think that a pregnant lady's body is free game for commenting. And some say the most horrible things.

I do not understand this insanity, but as a victim of this craziness I hope that I will think twice before I talk to a pregnant lady and will remember what it feels like, even 40 years from now.

Eric and I have been astounded by the comments. Ranging anywhere from "You look miserable!" to "Wow, how many babies are you carrying?" to anywhere in-between and beyond.

Can someone please tell me how such comments are okay? Especially when they come from women who have been pregnant! Um, do they not remember at all?

However, there have been some very nice comments that help me forget about the awful ones. If you must comment, please choose something like these:

"You look great!" --Flattery is the best medicine for someone who feels anything but great.

"You look so good. You're that far along? You don't look that big." --I'm a big fan of white lies.

And my very favorite comment, that I think about whenever I get a rude comment:

"You're just adorable. I know you don't feel that way--believe me, I've done it five times. But you're just adorable and glowing." -- Love it, just the perfect amount of empathy, and made me feel adorable and glowing for the rest of the day. I want to hug her even now for her comment 2 weeks ago.

So, ladies especially, please think before you comment--you will either make or break a pregnant lady's day.

37 Week Update: Full Term

Well, it's official I'm full term. Not that that means baby girl will decide to come anytime soon, but it does give one cause to hope.

And the fact that some of symptoms I'm facing are signs of impending labor, brings hope with its misery.

Swelling: The swelling has reached an all time high and I finally caved and bought some compression socks. Most expensive pair of knee highs I've ever bought too! But oh the relief... don't know why I waited so long. The swelling makes moving around even more difficult. Kneeling is practically impossible. Which is why my sewing projects are on hold... I simply cannot kneel on the floor to cut or pin fabric. Good thing all important baby sewing projects are finished.

For some reason swelling, makes my skin feel bruised. My feet and ankles feel bruised to the touch, which makes putting on the compression socks and walking not so much fun.

Oh, and I now wear my wedding ring on my pinky finger... oh the sadness.

Carpal tunnel: So, remember when I said that my right hand was going numb? Well, its actually carpal tunnel. Who knew carpal tunnel made your hand/arm go numb and is a common symptom of pregnancy? 'Cuz I sure didn't.

Apparently when you swell up like a balloon as I have, the extra fluid puts pressure on the median nerve, resulting in carpal tunnel.

For a few weeks, it was just an annoying numbness in the evenings and mornings, but last Friday I woke up and the numbness just didn't go away. So halfway to Boise, we stopped at Walmart to buy a wrist brace so I could have some relief. Now, if I take off the brace for more than 20 minutes at a time, my hand and arm starts to go numb. Though the brace does seem to help the problem, it makes my hand/arm drastically less mobile... which makes eating, writing, typing and really anything cumbersome. Oh and so much for all those crocheting projects I started...

Difficulty moving: Each day, moving, bending, reaching, etc gets that much harder. Even wrapping presents was difficult with all that kneeling, cutting, moving around... ugh. I feel like an overweight 80+ year-old. And watching said overweight 80+ year olds move around at church, I realize that I move like them too. Which really makes me not want to grow old or become overweight...

Bad skin: Some pregnant ladies get prettier skin, mine just gets uglier. You can tell where I'm swollen because the skin is red and purplish in some areas, gross I know. And my pores are gigantic and red looking. Ick.

As you can see, pretty much all of my symptoms stem from being swollen. Why do some ladies swell like balloons and others not at all? I don't have an answer to that, but maybe it is repayment for not having morning sickness. Maybe this is just the "grass is greener on the other side" coming out in me, but I think at this point I'd rather take the morning sickness... and all ladies who do suffer from morning sickness are shaking their heads, "no" I'm sure.

Bruised groin: Supposedly this is a sign of my body getting ready for labor, and the extra pressure of the baby. But man it sure feels like I killed it at the gym doing kettle balls and sprinting... If only that were the reason I am sore.

Stabbing pains: Sharp, stabbing pains in the groin. At first I thought these might be Braxton Hicks, but no, its just pressure from the baby... again another sign of impending labor, but they sure do stop me in my tracks sometimes.

All these symptoms are in place, I'm sure, to make moms-to-be that much more excited, if that's possible, to meet their new little baby.

I can't think of anything better than to have my baby in my arms and NOT in my stomach :)

That will be very soon if I can take it one day at a time, because baby's due date (January 15) is 19 days away, and since the doctors won't let me go more than a week overdue, (Thank goodness) then I have approximately 19-26 days left! YAY!

We are pretty much ready for baby, just a few last things to get. I still don't have a diaper bag... or diapers... but that will be easily fixed. We have the crib, clothes, blankets, carseat, stroller, swing, bouncer, baby toiletries, breast pump, glider chair... so I think we'll be good if she decided to come :)

Oh and once I get the wall decor up, I'll post pictures of the finished nursery :)

33 Week Update

I know I should have written this post last week, to go with the timing of my other update posts (18, 24), but I just didn't feel like it last week :) I was originally going to do weekly or biweekly posts... but well it looks like the best I could do is every 6 weeks.

Somedays I feel like I've had a very uncomplicated, easy-going pregnancy, and then others I feel like my pregnancy couldn't be worse (dramatic I know, that's pregnancy hormones for ya).

In reality, I have had a very easy, uneventful pregnancy, and most of the symptoms that make me hate the world are centered around the fact that my belly is growing, growing, and growing! Which makes for some pretty normal, but at times miserable, symptoms.

Being short: So this isn't really a symptom, but it makes functioning with a humongous belly quite difficult. And since I have a short amount of space lengthwise for her to exist in, the belly just comes straight out and fills every space--no basketball belly for me. Starting over a week ago people started commenting on my largeness and asking when I'm due and expecting me to say a week or two, get this shocked look on their face when I tell them how long I really have left. And that shocked look makes me want to either slap them, say mean things behind their back, or go hide in the toilet stall. So be ye, therefore, warned. Oh and it makes me hate women who get the blessed "basketball" belly. No offense, I will go back to loving and adoring their cute bellies in about 7 weeks.

Swelling: Ah the swelling! Where aren't I swollen? A little bit everywhere, but I'm definitely sporting some cankles, size varies day to day and morning to night. Even Eric hasn't been able to force a lie out about them. He usually says, "Don't look at them, we can worry about that after the baby is here." Therefore confirming my fear of nasty, fatty cankles. That's okay, mostly, he's paying back with lots of pampering.

Oh, and despite the fact that my legs and cankles are fugly, does anyone know how uncomfortable/painful swelling is? Cuz I had no idea. Anyone having any delusions, can watch me waddle down the stairs at work. I'm not walking like that besides I think it's fun. It's because my foot mobility is seriously limited and sashaying back and forth is the only way to move.

People say drinking water and putting your feet up reduces swelling, and it does to some degree, but it certainly worked better a few weeks ago. As a mark of my desperation--I'm in the market for some old lady compression socks.

Hormones: This one has been ongoing throughout pregnancy. But feeling constantly huge and swollen makes it worse. I cried about my legs and feet last night, just ask Eric. Cure? Panda Express, lying down and watching 24 while Eric rubbed my feet and legs, all followed by a bath.

Back pain: If I don't sit just right or stand for too long, I can get some killer back pain that will stay for the rest of the day. Luckily I do have a lumbar pillow for my work chair--thanks to my coworker, and that does help a lot.

So I have an insane list of projects for the nursery and baby, and most of them involve me spending hours on the floor measuring, cutting, pinning, and sewing. I have learned that If I do too much in one night, I will pay for it big time the next day. We're talking back pain extraordinaire, swelling, and general pain EVERYWHERE. So, I'm trying to be more moderate.

Hot, hot, hot: My body is 100 degrees all the time. No matter that it is late November, I can just not get cool. I thought this would calm down in the fall/winter. Nope, my body is in an eternal summer. Who sweats in November with the fan on? Me.  I cannot even fathom a summer baby. Nope, we will probably have all winter babies.

Numb hands: This is a new development and sooo weird. My right hand will go numb and stay numb.  I did it this morning while I was putting on my makeup and I had to keep taking breaks to try to reawaken my hand... ugh.

Walking like a bafoon: Even though I can't really see myself walk, I know how very pregnant women walk, and it ain't pretty. I can feel myself moving like that now, and I hate it, it makes me feel like I weigh 300 pounds.

Weird stabbing stomach pains: Sometimes I'll get these stabby, painful stomach pains, and they don't really seem to have any rhyme or reason to them. The doctor says it's probably just growing and stretching pains, but they definitely do stop me in my tracks sometimes.

Not being able to reach my feet: Not only can I not see my feet most of the time, I can no longer reach my feet. Putting on shoes other than slip ons now require Eric's help.

How hard it is to get up or move in bed: I feel like an 80 year old woman when I roll over in bed. Getting off the couch requires much maneuvering and Eric's help. If I forget something before I sit down, I usually ask Eric to get it for me, just because the whole process of getting up is so much work.

Desire to eat healthy food, but no energy/desire to cook: I really want to eat healthy, even like eating healthy, but it is more work. Let's face it roman, PB&J, pizza rolls and cereal are just easier. And I kind of have no energy to make healthy food, all my energy is spent on baby projects. I'm really looking forward to my mom coming after the baby comes partly so she can cook me some yummy, healthy food.

Besides all that, I'm doing great. No complications thus far. I went shopping on Black Friday for baby clothes, and found some of the most adorable clothes! I can't wait to put them on baby girl when she gets here.

Yesterday was 50 days until my due date. Eric told me not to count down, but I can't help it. I know I should be enjoying this last little bit of baby-free time, but I really want a baby, so how can I do that? Oh well, I will survive :)

My First Mommy Freak Out

Murphey's Law must state that when one's husband is unreachable everything that could go wrong will.

Monday was Eric's first day with the Bingham County (Blackfoot area) Sheriff's department. Yay! Eric has a job! We were so relieved for Eric to find a police job in the area. But for some odd reason, Eric started at 4 p.m. We all know that police officers work shifts and are not normal 8-5 jobs, but 4 p.m. on the first day? Yeah, we thought it was weird.

Because the Honda gets much better gas mileage, we had decided that Eric should drive the Honda to work in Blackfoot and I drive the Blazer. I drive Eric's car on occasion, but it's always an adjustment when I do. I can never seem to remember where are the buttons are, especially for the rarely used ones.

Eric got to work, and texted me around 5:00 to tell me that he was sitting around, not doing anything yet. Since we knew Eric wouldn't get home until 2 or 3 a.m. I decided that I would definitely hit the gym and maybe even Joann's to get some more fabric and make it a girls night with movies and sewing projects.

I spent longer at the gym than usual, and considered the night off to a good start. Just as I got to the gym, my phone died, so on the drive to Joann's I plugged my phone into the car cell phone charger. The little red light wasn't coming on, so I switched lighters and tried another one. Then all of a sudden smoke started billowing out of the center console of Eric's Blazer. Like copious amounts of smoke! Of course I freaked out, and not knowing what else to do, stop in middle of the intersection and turn off the car. That however did not reduce the smoke. After several very long seconds of trying to figure out what was wrong and choking until I thought I was going to die, I jump out of the car suddenly very fearful what all that smoke would do to baby girl--not to mention my lungs were on FIRE! (On a side note: I now understand why people pass out so quickly from smoke in a fire, and why the fire department always says to get out immediately. I always thought, "Sure, sure... but only after I grab some irreplaceable things first." Now I know better.)

After staring at all the smoke for another minute or two, I pull out the car charger and saw that the tip was bent and melted. At that moment someone finally stopped. A lady got out of her car and came to help me and more importantly help my flustered self figure out what to do. Her first idea was to pull over to the side of the road. Good idea :) I would have done this originally, but there was honestly just too much smoke to go another yard. So once the smoke had stopped forming, I pulled over and so did she. She graciously offered me her phone, because of course my phone was still dead and the way to charge it was now dead too.

Just then a police officer showed up and asked what was the matter. After we explained the situation, the nice lady took off--though before I could call anyone--and the police officer helped me determine that everything with the car should be okay. He explained that sometimes a car charger can short out and melt... so I guess it isn't that rare. But it sure freaked me out.

I got back in my car and debated whether or not I should continue on with my plans to go to Joanns. I got almost there when a pit formed in my stomach... would the smoke have hurt baby girl?

My thought process went like this:

I'm coughing and my lungs are still "on fire"and it's been about 15 minutes. Baby girl breathes because I do. So if I am jeopardized she must be too. In Grey's Anatomy they always say that if there's anything wrong with the baby you only have a few minutes to get it out. (Yes, my brain made that much of a leap, and yes I do watch too much Grey's Anatomy). Should I go to the ER? No, that's expensive and what if they laugh at me for coming in for something like this. Maybe I should call Heather or my mom. But my phone is dead, and so is my charger and by the time I get home and call them it could be too late if there is something wrong. I wish I had a smart phone, I'd just google it and see what other moms say. Oh, well maybe I could go to a Community Urgent Care, our insurance will cover most of that, I'll try there.

So I flip a U, and and head back to the Community Care.

I signed in, and wondered if I should tell them it's really urgent.

I waited the agonizing 5 minutes or so and go back with the nurses and tell them with tears forming in my eyes what's the matter and that I just need to know if baby girl is okay.

They say, "Oh well there's really no way we can tell you that here. If you're really worried you'd have to go to the ER, and they can do an ultrasound."

Ok, so I get back in the car, and curse the tears in my eyes to go away and drive across the street to the ER.

I have never in living memory beeb to the ER. So it was a scary/surreal feeling for me.

I signed in and waited for a long time for someone to take me back. (In hindsight if something really had been wrong, it would have probably been too late anyways by how slow the ER was).

They took my blood pressure, asked me questions and left me by myself on a creepy looking bed with the curtains open and sitting feet away from other patients. I sat there for about 30 minutes with nothing to preoccupy my mind but scary thoughts about baby girl and eavesdropping on the other patients as the doctor told them that yes their cough is being aggravated because they smoke...

About this time baby girl started kicking some. My first 2 thoughts:

1. Yay, she's probably okay
2. Oh no, if everything is fine, then I feel like an IDIOT for being at the ER

Eventually a PA comes by and tells me everything is probably fine because the baby takes her oxygen from my blood and I wasn't exposed long enough for her to have been deprived.

But he decides to go ask a doctor just in case. I waited another 15 minutes or so for the said doctor to come and tell me that everything is fine.

He explained it like this: a fetus is like a parasitic relationship. They will take and take and take to make sure they are getting everything they need, at the peril of the carrier (me). He said I could go without eating for 3 days and the baby would be fine because she would suck me dry, (again scary vampiric baby images) whereas I would be in a pretty bad shape. So he said he was more worried about me than the baby.

And since I looked and felt completely fine, I was discharged. I finally left the ER around 8:00, wondering what on earth that bill is going to look like.

So 2 hours later, and feeling very foolish, I drove home.

If you haven't heard me tell this story, it's because I felt silly, even though it had been very dramatic for me.

I got home, plugged in my phone, called Eric and told him to call me ASAP.

He called a little while later and I explained the whole thing through the tears that I had refused to completely overtake me earlier in the day. GAH hormones, and bad days!

So, despite my grand plans for sewing and working on projects, I watched project runway and looked at baby clothes online and almost bought some ridiculously priced dresses just to assuage my feelings.

That was my first mommy freak out. I'm sure life will be full of them, especially with the first baby. So I'm gonna chalk up my freak out to first time mommy fears.

Yay, for being a mommy?

24 Week Update

A 24-week old fetus

Everyone says that the 2nd trimester is better than the 1st, but I'm not sure that's true for everyone. And I'm sure if I had been sick during the 1st trimester, then I would agree with the masses. But, since I had a very easy 1st trimester, the 2nd one doesn't really seem that much better or harder, just different.

Slightly more energy: I have more energy than I did during the 1st trimester, but I'm still not running on even close to 100%. I hear that the 3rd trimester, you get really tired again... great.

Backaches, backaches, backaches: Oh my. This is probably the worst and most prominent symptom I've had to date. Not a day goes by that I don't have back pain. It makes me feel like an old woman. I'm so used to sitting cross legged in chairs, and sitting on the floor for hours, and I just can't do that anymore. Even sitting normally on the couch gets painful without a pillow in the small of my back. And church is starting to feel really long in those uncomfortable benches and chairs. Though, on the upside, at least Eric is more prone to give me backrubs now :)

Lack of control of my own bladder: Umm... yeah. Let's just say it ain't pretty if I my bladder is full and I sneeze. I've learned to run at the first sign of a sneeze. On a particularly bad day, Eric bought me "What to Expect When You're Expecting" to cheer me up, and because one of the ladies in the movie had the same problem. If you haven't seen it yet, you need to, so many good laughs.

Acid reflux: I've heard many women complain of heartburn, and luckily I haven't had heartburn once... yet. But I have had my fair share of unpleasant acid reflux. It happens with no matter what I eat or drink, even water.

Swollen fingers: If I don’t drink enough water or exercise in the sun my fingers swell, bad. And it’s extremely uncomfortable. Luckily I usely work out in an air conditioned gym, and drink plenty of water, but if I haven’t, I can quickly tell. I'm just hoping I can keep the swelling down to a minimum... I really don't want to have to take my wedding ring off or get cankles...shudder.


Disappearing belly button: I knew this, I expected this, but it sure is weird when it starts happening to you. It’s only just begun, and I’m sure I’ll end with an “outie” before we’re done, but can I just say that I have a huge aversion to outies? I think they are abnormal and downright creepy, (I really hope baby girl doesn't get one!) so I’ll be glad to have my old belly button back.


Aching feet: When I spend a lot of time on my feet, which with a desk job is uncommon for me, but when I do, my feet ache, a lot. Last week when I picked raspberries all morning and spent the mid afternoon making jam, my feet were in serious need of a massage.

Lots of kicking :) She has been kicking a lot lately. It took me awhile to really feel her kicks (around 19 weeks) and when I did they felt kind of like cramps and kind of like gas and kind of like something really weird. So, even though it was so neat to feel her alive and kicking up a storm in there, it wasn’t my favorite thing. As they have gotten stronger and more frequent they feel less like cramps or gas and more like a baby kicking—which is still so weird and amazing.

Eric has yet to feel her kick, she’ll only kick a few times in a row and by the time he his hand in position, she’s done. She really likes to kick mid-morning too, so Eric has fewer chances to feel her kick. I’m hoping this is a good sign, that she doesn’t wake up and start having a party when I’m trying to sleep, and is instead awake when I’m awake.

And today for the first time, I not only felt her move, but SAW her move. Boy was that weird, and it was only a little tremor! I’m a little terrified for the day when I see my whole stomach move with her! Definitely having half-vampire baby nightmares here (thank you Twilight...not)!

I'm well on the way to getting things ready for baby girl's debut in 16 weeks. 

1.I'm in the middle of crocheting 2 baby blankets (1 for her room, 1 for her baby blessing)
2. I'm half way done with the bird mobile. 
3. Her crib is painted white and ready to be set up.
4. I have fabric to make her crib skirt, binkie clips, hair bows, and throw pillows for the armchair (that we have yet to get).

But I'm in no rush for her to get here just yet. She can stay nice and cozy inside and that's just fine with me. Though by 34 weeks I'm sure I'll be wishing she would come early.

Gender Reveal

The fateful Thursday finally dawned and I could not have been more excited! Uncharacteristically I woke up before the alarm, and cheerfully said (shouted) in Eric's face, "Today's the day! Aren't you sooo excited?!?" And I then I laid back down and feel back asleep until after the alarm went off a few times. Eric was exhausted, but I tried to rub off some of my enthusiasm onto Eric (he was excited, just not quite at that decibel that early in the morning). I felt like a kid on Christmas, and I honestly don't think I've been that excited since our wedding day.

Unfortunately I had to go to work until 2:00. So I spent the morning failing to focus on work and my articles and talking to my co-worker Madi about how excited I was.

Finally, 2 o'clock came and I was outta there! I raced home to pick up Eric. Eric, unlike me, didn't want to leave right away and be early for our 3:00 appointment. Eric got out otter pops and made me eat one. Bad choice, it takes me forever to eat those. So, after eating half of it I made him finish it so we could leave.

After months and weeks of waiting, we were finally in the exam room with the ultrasound tech. She asked us if we wanted to know the gender. To which, Eric replied, "Oh, yes. She can hardly stand it."

"So, the sooner you can tell us, the better," I added.

I came prepared with OJ (which Eric made fun of me for), just in case the baby decided to be shy and uncooperative. But, fortunately our baby wanted us to know their gender, because the very first shot the tech got of our baby was a clear shot of the babies bum.

The tech said, "Oh they're obviously not shy... (Eric and I look at each other and both think, 'Oh that must mean it's a boy')... it's clearly a girl!"

Eric and both try to disguise our surprise and say, "Oh that's great!"

For quite some time I had been pretty certain that it would be a boy. I'm not really sure why. Maybe, it's because I knew Eric wanted a boy so badly, and I thought the idea of seeing Eric with a baby boy would be just too adorable. Maybe it's because my sister Heather just had a baby boy a few months ago, and I've fallen in love with him and his adorableness. Or maybe I just didn't think I would get have a girl the 1st time around, just because I wanted one... Either way, I didn't think it was going to be a girl.

The tech showed us the three lines that indicate that she is a girl.

The tech asked us if we had names picked out and we said that we just had a long list of possibilities, but nothing beyond that. (Though we had two boy names, first and middle, picked out and ready... lol).

The tech continued to show us some cool shots of our little girl.

After we had gotten the clear "girl" shot, she decided it was time to be more ladylike and crossed her ankles for most of the time.

She gave us a thumbs up :)

She kept waving one of her little arms at us, so it took about 5 tries to get a good measurement and picture.

The tech even gave us some 3D shots. I didn't know that was an option, so that was pretty neat. Unfortunately the placenta kept getting in the way, so her face is always partially hidden. Oh well, I had no delusions of knowing exactly what she looked like from an ultrasound--that big reveal will just have to wait 'til January.

After the tech finished, we waited about 20 minutes for the doctor to come in and tell us the baby is healthy and looks great... don't you love what you wait around in a doctor's to hear? Lol, but we sure are glad that she is doing great. Then he told us something that I never imagined to come from a child from my womb!

That our child at 20 weeks weighed 15.6 oz (according to babycenter.com a 20 week baby weighs 10.5 oz.) and was in the 61st percentile! Um, never in my life have been in the 61st percentile for anything height or weight related! My family are small people! This just goes to show that the "other half" gets some say in the matter too ;)

My sister laughed out loud and said, "Oh man, that's gonna hurt!" when she heard... heres to hoping that the other 20 weeks will give our baby time to even out. I'm really not planning on a big baby. And since I was only 7 lbs 4 oz and Eric  7 lbs 2 oz, I really think we have good chances for a normally sized baby.

After the ultrasound we went to Walmart to buy a baby outfit to get excited about our baby! Though it was a pretty poor selection, we did find one outfit. The whole night I just kept looking at it. Baby clothes are so cute and tiny! I probably refolded it about 20 times.

That night I made gender reveal cupcakes with this recipe (they turned out delicious--though I just used a box for the cupcakes and followed the recipe for the filling and frosting).

On Friday we drove down to Utah for the weekend and met my family in Bountiful to do the big gender reveal (We planned to go shopping for gender specific things right afterwards).

Before we let them eat the cupcakes we asked everyone to guess what they thought it would be. Everyone except for Aleksa guessed boy, apparently we weren't the only ones! Well you can see everyone's reaction for yourselves! I think this picture is priceless!

We were hoping to do a similar thing with Eric's family in Nampa, but unfortunately do do bakery's only baking in the morning, his family would have had to wait until Saturday to find out, and we decided they had waited long enough so we told them on Friday too. They are so excited, especially his mom.

Though we were a little surprised, we are so excited to be having a little girl! Bring on the bows, shoes and pink!

Stay tuned for more pictures to come--we left our camera in a friends car.